The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
