HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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