I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
