Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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