i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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