I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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