thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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