I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
