we're blogging at a bar
it glows. i had to have it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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