Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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