I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
