What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
