he told me I talked like a deaf person
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
