I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize