i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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