I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
should my penis look like a turkey
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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