I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize