and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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