He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize