guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
