Its about making memories worth repressing
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
