you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
