last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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