the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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