Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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