Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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