So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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