even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
