There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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