Just fell off a train. Bad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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