I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
