haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
