Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize