If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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