The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize