Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
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