Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sober January is a disaster.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
