we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
