If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
