its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
