i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
