Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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