Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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