best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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