did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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