i don't like sucking hair
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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