Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
