I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
