david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
