mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
