I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize