Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
