I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...