Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
