Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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