IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
