This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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