Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
