i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we're so committed to being not committed
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